By Jade Byrnell
Let’s give it up for the clitoris, that powerhouse of feminine sexual pleasure. Packed with thousands of nerve endings, this joy button serves no biological function other than to make us feel good. Read on for information on the wonders of your clit and how to get the most out of it.
The word “clitoris” is derived from the Greek word for “key.” And isn’t that appropriate? Touched properly, it unlocks one of the most powerful forces in nature: the female orgasm. Sometimes referred to as “elusive,” it’s more misunderstood. In a world that treats male pleasure as essential and female pleasure as a nice bonus, it can be harder for women to learn what makes them come.
Having a clitoris entitles you to feel good but you have to be willing to learn to use yours.
Where Is It?
The clitoris is a small nub of tissue located at the top of the vaginal labia. It’s covered by a hood of flesh. The first step in understanding the clitoris is finding it. This is a lot easier with a hand mirror. Get up close and personal with yourself.
Every clit is like a snowflake – unique and beautiful. Don’t waste a precious moment worrying about how yours looks. It’s perfect and it’s there to make you feel good. What you see is just the glans, or external tip. The entire clitoris is about four inches long and wishbone shaped. It extends down inside the labia and wraps around the vaginal opening.
The clitoral hood which covers the glans, is there to protect it from excessive stimulation. Thousands of nerve endings are not necessarily something you want to be rubbing against your undies with every step. When you become aroused, the hood retracts to expose the glans, making for easier stimulation. At the same time, the clitoris becomes engorged and increases in size. This means it’s easier to find it when you’re turned on.
How To Play With Yourself And Others
The orgasm formula is pressure, repetitive motion patience, and lube.
Pressure The clitoris is rich with internal and external nerve endings, so there’s a huge variety in pressure preferences. You may need to pull back your clitoral hood or try different positions to access your clit. Or you may want to use more pressure so that you can stimulate yourself through the hood, Think of masturbating through jeans. Some women adore the sensation of diffused pressure and some are too sensitive to enjoy direct contact.
Repetitive Motion Experiment with up and down, side to side, and circular strokes. Some people enjoy tracing the letters of the alphabet. Others love tapping, slapping, stretching, licking, biting, or pinching. There is no wrong way to touch yourself (or be touched) and a huge range in what people find pleasurable. So if it feels good, do it. Or ask a friend to do it for you.
Lube The clit must be wet to function properly. You can use vaginal wetness, saliva, or a commercially produced lubricant but get slippery first. Shop your favorite lube bands in the the PleazeMe Shop!
Patience Climaxing isn’t a race and the right mindset is critical. Focus on feeling good, not on getting anywhere. Follow your bliss and let it happen. Some women have trouble finishing because they worry that they’re taking too long. The truth is, it can take a while. You’re worth the time.
The Blended Orgasm
Common routes to O-town are the clitoral orgasm, the vaginal orgasm, and the anal orgasm. But it’s also possible to have blended orgasms, defined by Healthline as “a clitoral and vaginal orgasm that happens at the same time.” Stimulating the G-spot is the best way to achieve a vaginal orgasm but research shows that the clitoris and G-spot are part of the same nerve network. So stimulating both can lead to a special climactic experience.
A blended orgasm involves muscular contractions of the clitoris and vaginal walls, followed by a blissful release. It can include full body muscle spasms, female ejaculation, or even spiritual or hallucinatory experiences. Since it results from stimulation from both the back and front, it can feel like coming from inside and out. Add in the option of anal stimulation, which allows you to access the sexual nerve netweork from the back, and the possibilities are endless.
If you haven’t yet met the G-Spot, it’s about a couple inches inside the vagina, on the front wall. The simplest way to find it is to insert a finger and do the “come here” motion. It can feel either spongy or rough but it feels different from the rest of the vagina.
While finding your G-spot is easier with the help of a friend, finding your blended orgasm is easier with the help of a toy. Lora Haddock DiCarlo, a CEO, tech innovator, and anatomical enthusiast, has invented Ose: the first hands-free device specially designed to help women achieve the blended orgasm. Using microrobotics rather than standard vibration, it works differently from other sex toys.
In our recent Face to Face interview, Lora_DiCarlo shared her inspiring passion for serving women and humanity. Lora also shares how her journey as a new company in the space lead her to disrupt the CES: Consumer Electronics Show to be more inclusive to women and pleasure products. You can check out the full interview in the Science of Art Channel.
Founder of the company and brand Lora Dicarlo, Lora has transformed the pleasure industry with sex tech inspired by human movement. She is committed to promoting sexual health, awareness and inclusivity by empowering women to pursue their own pleasure. Keep an eye out for Onda and Baci, the newest Lora DiCarlo products, by following Lora DiCarlo’s Channel! Because pleasure is your birthright.
If you enjoyed this article, you may want to check out why masturbation is good for you and The Woman’s Guide to Having an Orgasm for the First Time.
Have you checked out PleazeMe.com? It is a social media platform where adults can be adults. We created the 7 Worlds of PleazeMe so that every person would have a place to privately explore their sexuality with like-minded people.
We believe in love, sexuality, and the power of inclusion. People of all shapes and sizes, colors and ethnicities, genders and sexualities are valuable and deserve to feel included. Everyone should have a safe place they can go to connect, discover and express themselves without fear of being judged, censored or discriminated against.
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