Looking for a low-key way to turn up the heat in your life? We’ve got a simple solution: touch. By touching your partner in small ways more often, you’ll feel closer and get increasingly turned on. Here’s how to celebrate your own touch style and bring sensuous touch to your personal encounters.
Touch Helps Us Bond
Sharing touch makes you happier, calmer and more generous. There’s even a study that says when you’re touched more, you’ll see others as being more attractive. That’s because touching another person in a positive way releases the hormone oxytocin. Oxytocin lights you up with warm, fuzzy feelings and encourages you to bond with others. Your body gives you oxytocin when you hug, hold hands, dance and enjoy sex. Researchers have a great phrase for those cuddles and more – “warm touch.”
What Masseuses Know About Touch
Does getting a massage stimulate oxytocin? It can. That’s one of the reasons massages are therapeutic, as well as seen as something sexy to do with a partner. Professional masseuses work to have good boundaries with their clients. What they do to be professional can teach us another way to touch someone sensuously.
The difference between professional touch and warm touch is time. Warm touches between lovers linger. Professional touch is more brisk. A professional masseuse will always keep one hand or another on a client at all times, so the touch feels unbroken. But they will lift and change their hands, where a lover would slide would slide from spot to spot.
Make Your Touch Craveable
Just as you have a unique voice, you have a unique touch. Every individual finds different warm touches attractive. Some like soft, melting caresses, while others like firm( even rough) handling. Here are three qualities that add up to the kind of touch that brings lovers back for more.
- Firm and confident. People want us to touch them, and they want to feel your desire in your touch. “Hold me tight!” is a sexy cliché for a reason. Find the sweet spot that works for you – not tentative but not heavy-handed. Caress instead of grab, run nails lightly instead of scratching. Ask your lover how rough they want you to be.
- Graceful or dexterous. It’s attractive when someone can undo zippers, buttons, and, most challenging of all, bra fasteners. Because someone who’s got dexterity – good hand coordination – has control. You feel confident about trusting their hands anywhere.
- Fresh and clean. Fresh clothes and clean skin are touch essentials, inviting you to get close. The way someone smells is next to the way their touch feels. Even if we’re turned on by someone’s unique scent, you still want them to touch you with clean hands.
Try More Touching Every Day
Start your day with some touch – with a cuddle or an embrace before you get out of bed, or before you part for the day. It’ll send you on your way with a smile, for a good reason.
You may have heard that a 20-second hug releases oxytocin. It’s true: studies have proved this! Keep in mind that a 20-second embrace can seem long if you’re not used to it. Let that someone special know you want to give them a good, long cuddle. Ask them to hold you. Feel how your bodies fit together. Enjoy the moment, and let go. Kissing stimulates oxytocin, too, and it’s a sweet way to end an embrace.
To connect in public more subtly, hands are a great place for some sensuous touch. Caress the back of their hand with your fingertips. Massage their palm with your thumb. Trace a finger in circles around their wrist. You may need to stop if you’re blushing, or because you’re ready for more!
Extra Touches During Sex = Extra Arousal
When a little sensuous touch leads to a lot more, you can use touch to increase your connection during sex.
Consider a position that has lots of skin-to-skin contact. Spooning from behind, having one of you sit on the other’s lap or classic side-by-side and missionary all maximize your bodies touching fully.
You can enhance any sexual position additional touching. Here are some ways to give your lover extra sparks or shivers during the act:
- Use your mouth and lips. From missionary position, it’s easy to nibble your lover’s ears, teasing with your tongue and breath. Depending on how you fit, you might give their neck and shoulders bites and kisses, too.
- Roll with them. Use your entire body to rock, stroke, or press against your partner. Pulling them to you, physically, lets them know you want and need them. This is great for both foreplay and for when you’re about to come.
- Caress up and down their back. You can do this when you’re underneath, reaching up to wrap your arms around their shoulders, then stroking down. If you’re on top and behind your lover, doggy-style, stroking their back brings intimacy to the position. For a naughty finish from either position, grab their behind or hips!
Focus Sensuous Touch with Massage
You may want to take touching to the next level. Massage is concentrated touch that’s all about helping someone feel relaxed and good in their body. The best thing about exchanging massages with a lover is you don’t have to stay professional – you can get as “warm” as they want you to. To share the ultimate in touch, see our article on How To Give an Erotic Massage.
Whether you spend an hour on erotic caresses, or share warm fuzzies with a hug and a kiss, enjoy more touch in your life. It’s a way to connect every day.
If you enjoyed this article, find more ways to connect with How to Give an Erotic Massage, Hands On: The Expert Guide to Fingering and The Beginner’s Guide to Tantric Sex: 8 Easy Positions.