By Domina Doll
If you want to enhance passion in the bedroom, or attract that soul-mate lover, sexual Feng Shui may be just what you need to manifest those desires.
What is Feng Shui?
Feng Shui is the ancient Chinese-Taoist metaphysical practice and philosophy of harmonizing your environment by encouraging a balanced and beneficial flow of life force energy (chi) in the home in order to attract happiness, better health, abundance, and yes, sex!
It uses principles of design, and is the art of placing furniture and objects in a room in harmonious ways. It does this by taking into consideration the 5 Chinese elements (earth, water, fire, wood, metal) as well the cardinal directions (north, south, east, west), shapes, colors and more, to use as tools for transforming spaces for optimal movement of chi energy.
While Feng Shui may sound complicated, it is actually very practical and intuitive. Even if you aren’t a witchy woo-woo type person, feng shui is easy to do if you follow these basic principles.
What is Sexual Feng Shui?
I like to think of sexual feng shui as a kind of “interior design” that is used to invoke love and intimacy in specific parts of the home such as the bedroom (obvious) and also the love and relationship part of the house.
Sexual feng shui incorporates “sensual fusion” (a holistic approach to sex) by nurturing sensuality (the senses) into your life and environment.
Sexual feng shui creates peace and harmony in your relationship with your lover, invokes desire and passion, boots energy and performance, as well as heightening sexual pleasure and sexual satisfaction for a more freely flowing, highly nourishing and romantic sex life.
Give me some of that! Yes, please!
How to Start Working with Sexual Feng Shui
To begin working with sexual feng shui, you need to map out your home using a bagua (the feng shui energy map) that divides your space into nine separate areas—each one relating to a certain area of your life, one of which is the Love and Marriage corner.
How to Use a Bagua Map
There are two ways to use a bagua map to figure out the 9 areas of the home.
- Use a compass to figure out which area of your house faces south.
- Create your map using the front door as the bottom of the map.
Front Door Map
Then place the bagua map over the floor plan (can be just a drawing) of your home.
I use both methods as my front door faces south.
The Love and Relationship Area of the Home
Next find the Love and Relationship area of your home.
Construct a “Relationship Gua”, which is a sexual or love manifesting shrine dedicated to love and romance. In the compass bagua, this area will be in the southwest corner. Using the front door method, it will be at the rear of the house on the far right.
Now you can spruce up this space with symbolic and elemental properties that are associated with love, romance, and intimacy.
This area of the home is represented by Earth energy, which makes perfect sense, since the earth is grounding and nourishing and symbolises warmth, foundation, stability, fertility, and the balanced flow of masculine and feminine energy. Earth energy is primal (sexual) creative energy, instinctual, earthy or bodily. It is lush, abundant, voluptuous, sensual and carnal.
Feng Shui in the Bedroom
Yin (feminine) energy is a softer more receptive energy, which is ideal for the bedroom. Having said that, balance is also very important as well, so having a mixture of both yin and yang is essential. That’s why it is advisable for couples to create the feng shui design of their bedroom together. This is true for couples of any sexual orientation or gender, not just male and female, as most people have a dominant masculine or feminine energy regardless of gender. Balancing your energies by creating a shared vision is a powerful way to greater passion.
“Energy-wise, Yin is soft, slow, relaxed, diffused, moist, passive, and silent. Yang (active energy) is the feng shui energy expressed in strong, vibrant sounds and colors, bright lights, upward moving energy. A good feng shui home has to have a harmonious expression of the rhythms of both active and passive energies.” Source
Yin elements should be predominant in the bedroom and could include soft neutral earthy colors and pinks, soft pillows and blankets, soothing music and scents, that are sensual and receptive. Harmonize with accents of yang elements such as candles, splashes of red, orange, dark reddish purples, and passionate art.
Other Ways to Feng Shui Your Intimate Space
Remove Clutter: One of the first rules of Feng Shui is to clean out your space and remove all clutter. Clean out under the bed (air and energy should be able to circulate around it), purge your closets, dresser draws, garbage, general mess, and dirty laundry. Vacuum and clean out the cobwebs, let in the sunshine and open a window to refresh your space. I also like to clean any wooden surfaces with orange essentials oils, and then burn sage, palo santo, or sweetgrass. It is also said you can clear stuck negative energies in a room by ringing a bell in the corners of the room.
Bed Placement: Feng Shui deals with the movement of energy around a space. So, it is significant not only what you put in a space, but also where you place it. Your bed should be the center of the room, if possible, with access from both sides, aligned north and south with the head at the north. Never place the foot of the bed opposite a doorway (represents death). Do not have a window over the head of a bed (lets in negative energies). Make sure your head board is sturdy and against the wall. Do not have a mirror facing the bed, as while it may be kinky, it is bad feng shui.
Turn over or air out your mattress, or even get a new one every five years, or whenever you move, or breakup in a relationship.
Sleeping with your head against the wall that connects to a bathroom, is bad as it can throw off your chi and body chemistry, resulting in both physical and emotional issues. Beds with a canopy are also negative as they restrict healthy chi from circulating around you.
Remove Unfavorable Elements: Remove all electronics from the room. “Televisions, computers, and other electrical devices create an electromagnetic field in the environment. The unnatural chi that they emit can disturb sleep and cause insomnia, depression, and a feeling of waking up tired.”
Get rid of chi killers (destructive energy) like pointy objects, geometric shapes (especially triangles), and furniture with sharp edges. They produce a strong yang influence, so replace with natural curvy things that allow chi energy to flow.
Unfortunately, most hard-core Feng Shui experts say plants should not go into the bedroom, especially cacti, or thorny or prickly plants, but flowers are okay. Also, they caution using water elements like a fountain, or even an image of water as it kills the fire in a relationship. No ceiling fans either, as they cut the energy in the room.
Metal is an element that many say should not go in the bedroom as it conducts electricity, interfering with the chi energy flow in the room. Natural materials like wood are much more earthy. In addition, remove any workout equipment as they are not conductive to sleep.
Keep photos of past lovers, parents, kids and even friends out of the bedroom as they kill the romance. Instead use images of lovers, or even a loving image of you and your partner. Purge anything that reminds you of a past relationship: old love letters, trinkets, mementos. Remove all depictions of singledom if you want to attract a lover. Again, replace these with symbols of romantic love.
If you have a bedroom with an adjoining bathroom, keep the bathroom door closed and put a mirror on the outside of it to deflect negative chi. Keep bedroom doors closed while you sleep.
Things That Enhance Love and Relationships
Now that we have gotten rid of all the stuff that may be ruining our sexual chi, let’s focus on what to add.
Colors: Neutral colors subdue chi, so try a soft and soothing color scheme using warm and earthen tones, such as browns, soft reds, brownish greens, animal prints. Shades of pink are perfect (pink is the color that enhances romantic relationships). Pink is also believed to attract a partner if you are single. Use splashes of color like rich dark tones, accents of fire red, scarlet, deep purple or crimson to increase passion. Red on a female nightstand increases erotic desire, and copper on a male nightstand enhances male essence. Make floors dark, with medium-light walls, and light ceilings. However, avoid white as it creates a dissipate energy, causing anxiety and depression. Blues having a cooling effect, so not great for the fire and passion of sex. Peach encourages infidelity.
Scents: Natural earthy scents are perfect for the bedroom: patchouli, sandalwood, ylang ylang, as well as flowery scents like rose, jasmine and blue lotus, and spicy exotic scents such as cinnamon, and vanilla.
Lighting: Go for mood lighting in the bedroom, with soft, low-wattage light bulbs, and dimmer switches for overhead lights. Lava lamps and strings of lights also invoke a sexy vibe.
Art: Consider art that is soft and sensual, like Georgia O’Keeffe’s flower paintings, or images of lovers or sensual art nudes. Images of apple blossoms attract women and paintings with peaches in them attract men. Paintings of fruits, especially pomegranates, apples and persimmons enhance fertility in the bedroom.
Objects: Candles of red and pink invoke love and lust, and massage candles are especially sensual. Heart shaped objects, crystal balls, and tying two red or purple ribbons around your doorknob also attracts new romance in your life. Other symbolic objects include doves, crystal swans, mandarin ducks in pairs, as well as love birds. Romance or erotic art books are also very stimulating.
Crystals: Crystals such as rose quartz attract love, whereas red and orange crystals invite sensual passion and rev up the root and sacral chakras. Crystals that are earthy are grounding, soothing, and evoke a sense of safety and protection.
Doubles: In Feng Shui, especially in the bedroom, elements should be arranged in pairs for symmetry, and the balance of yin/yang energies: two bedside tables, two lamps, two red candles, two complimentary pieces of art hanging on either side of the bed.
Feng Shui Soul Mate Manifesting Ritual
This feng shui ritual is to attract a sexual partner in 49 days.
- a red pen
- a small silver relationship box
- and an image of two peonies (or mandarin ducks or love birds).
Write down a list of all the qualities you think your ideal lover might possess. Place your love letter inside the silver box with the images, and put it in the relationship area of your bedroom for 49 days.
Voila! You are now manifesting your soulmate to you!
Enhance Your Love Life with Feng Shui
So that’s everything you need to know about sexual feng shui. Use your intuition to add objects significant to you and that represent love.
Get started today making small changes every day, and see how it enhances your love life!
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