Relationship Kindling, If You Will
By Marnie Sloan
Long-distance relationships can be challenging, but they are a part of life for many of us. Distance can, indeed, make the heart grow fonder – but it doesn’t hurt to put in a bit of effort, too. With work from both parties, a long-distance relationship can absolutely thrive. So if you’ve been in an LDR for a while or are just embarking on one, here are some ways to keep the fire alive despite the miles. We’ve rounded up our favorites and are sharing them with you.
Go Old School
“You can pry my phone from my cold, dead hands!” – Everyone. Look, we get it. Texting is the easiest and most convenient way to communicate, and that’s all well and good. But remember that part about effort? You might have to go buy a pen and paper, but it’s time to channel our great grandparents who kept in touch this way during the war. Do you remember the last time you got snail mail? It’s likely been a while but it’s delightful. Now imagine that it’s coming from the love of your life oozing with ooey gooey feelings and such. At the very least, give them a real call once in a while.
Build the Sexual Tension
This might sound counterintuitive, but a bit of teasing can be fun, particularly if you do it right before you’re about to see one another again. Send a pair of sexy panties or fun sex toy in the mail. Up your sexting efforts. Leave a voicemail detailing what you are going to do to your lover the next time you see them. This will pay serious dividends in the bedroom when you do finally connect.
Get on the Same Page
This can be literal or figurative, as reading the same book can be fun. You can have your own long-distance book club. It works for TV shows, too. It might sound silly but just knowing you’re watching the same thing—even if from different time zones—can make you feel closer.
Always Have the “Next Thing” Planned
This is an effective tactic for all, as knowing when your next fun vacation or adventure can make the everyday grind that much more enjoyable. And while everyone can use this strategy, no one needs it more than those in long-distance relationships. Make sure you always have the next date you get to see one another on the calendar…preferably a paper one so you can actually cross out the dates as it gets closer.
Again, texts are great but there is nothing better than seeing the face of the person you love (or like a lot). Try to make it a nightly thing, but if that becomes too much, at least go for a couple of times a week. Pretend you’re sitting across from one another. Grab a glass of wine, some dinner, and have your virtual date. And if some clothes come off during the sesh, so be it. Check out our Beginner’s Guide to Video Sex.
Don’t Be Afraid of the Mundane
When you are in a long-distance relationship, there can be a tendency to feel like everything needs to be so BIG. You have to talk about emotions, feelings and how you’re going to make it work. Not so! In fact, you should regale each other with the inanities of your day, whether it’s the fact that your last pedicure didn’t last or your cubicle mate passes way too much gas.
Hit Up Their Home Sweet Home
Yes, hotel sex is super hot but, when you visit, you should try to stay at their home at least part of the time. Again, this establishes a bit of normalcy, which is often what a long-distance relationship lacks. You get to see what kind of coffee they drink, how often they change the litter box and whether they make the bed. It’s not that these things are deal breakers, but it’s more that it’s nice to see your loved one in their natural environment. And if the plan is to one day live in the same city, this could be your home, too.
Temper the Jealousy
Jealousy in relationships is going to happen. It’s a natural emotion, and not always a bad one necessarily. However, it can get the best of us when we are in long-distance relationships. It’s hard not knowing what another person is doing when we’re not there. You need to set the parameters for your relationship, and, if that includes monogamy, trust needs to be established early on. Without that, you’re dead in the water. We all know that feeling of not getting a minute of sleep when we’ve not been able to get a hold of our significant others when they’ve had a night on the town. It could be totally innocent, but our minds can get the better of us. You need to make the decision to commit to trust or this will not work, and cause a world of hurt.
If you enjoyed this article, you may enjoy Staying Sexy While You’re Apart: How To Have Great Online Sex During Quarantine.
Have you made a long-distance relationship work? How were you able to do it? Share your comments with us!
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