Sexting Masterclass: Beyond ‘U up?’

Socially-distant sexy stories

By Delilah Wood

You’ve been in the game a while. You know all about the little teases, flirts, and downright dirty things you can say to get your lover’s motor running hours or even days before you see them next. Which is good news for those of us who might not see our lovers again for several weeks.

If you’re like, well, all of us, you’re shut inside your house for the duration, and if you don’t live with your lover(s), you might be staying away from each other for safety. Flattening the curve may be the new black, but it doesn’t have to flatten desire. In a time of social distancing, it’s time to get creative!

One way to keep sexually connected at a distance is good old sexting. But you don’t have to limit sexting to turning your partner on or sharing sexy ideas for later – you can sext through an entire sexual encounter! Here’s some suggestions for how to evolve your dirty texting from a few primitive grunts into a fully fleshed-out tale – emphasis on the flesh. (And the tail.) 

Draw (or write) your lover in

It seems almost mean to work someone up when you’re not going to get to see them and, uh, drive the point home. But what if you could drive the text train all the way there? There are plenty of ways to start your lover up and let them know you’re thinking about them. Why not try starting a longer story instead?

Instead of diving in with something hardcore like, “I’m so wet for you right now,” you might start with a gentle prompt to get your lover on board. I once heard that the ellipsis is the sexiest punctuation… so make sure to make good use of it here! Trailing off will get your lover hanging on your every word, anticipating what’s next. Here’s a few starters:

• I’ve been thinking about what I’d like to do to you…
• Remember that time in the cabin in the mountains…?
• Are you alone? I’ve got a story to tell you…
• So let’s pretend I just showed up at your door…

The trick with the sexy story is getting your lover on board. There’s nothing more disconcerting than opening your phone after you get out of a work meeting to find 37 texts describing an explicit sexual encounter. So after you send the first salvo, wait for a response, and get your lover’s buy-in. If the response is something like, “Oh really? Do tell!” then go ahead. If it’s “I do remember that! I’m having a Zoom meeting with my parents right now,” maybe save it for later!

“Oh God” is in the details

Once you’ve started and you have your audience, just build on your theme. It doesn’t have to be Shakespeare. Just keep telling the story as you imagine it, or remember it. 

If you want your lover to be masturbating to your story as you tell it, remember that good erotic stories depend on specific details. It’s okay to say, “That time at the beach resort, when we had sex on the balcony…that was hot.” But it’s better to say exactly what you did, why it was hot, and what made it special for you.

• Then I slid your panties down and the cool ocean air made goosebumps on your sweet ass…
• We could hear laughter from down the beach but nobody could see us as I put my hand in your hair…
• Your fingers were deep inside me and I started to cum, and then I couldn’t stop…

Whatever the story, whatever kinks or desires or fantasies you share, draw on those and give them a complete picture with sensual details. The more you add about what you – or they – can see, hear, smell, taste, and feel, the juicier your story will be. 

Direct your own fantasy

If you’re making up a fantasy rather than retelling a memory, you can use the present tense to help your lover imagine it more immediately. Instead of “I threw you down on the bed,” try, “I throw you down on the bed.” It helps to make your story feel like it’s happening right now.

• You look up at me with wide eyes and an even wider smile…
• I climb on top of your naked body with my jeans still on, and rub my crotch against yours…
• As soon as I walk through the door, you shut it behind me and push me against it, kissing me hard…

Another trick you can use is telling your lover what to do through your story. You can tell them to imagine what you’re telling them, of course, and check-in from time to time to see if they’re touching themselves while you tell it.

Or you can really direct the action and tell them what you want them to do through text. Again, make sure they’re alone and have time and space to participate. You can even plan ahead and do something like this as a texting “date.” Either way, think about what you’d like to see them do or have them perform for you.

• Slide your hand down your body…slowly, and don’t touch yourself below the waist yet…
• Now kneel on the bed, with your knees apart and your toes together…
• Imagine me straddling you and kissing you up and down your body…

Naturally, it’s a lot harder to tell when your lover orgasms over text than it is over the phone, but you can tell them to tell you when they have.

Yes and…yes…and…yes!

You can share a story over text as well, if you want to close the distance even more! Just start a story off, and then have your lover add in the next line. The story can keep bouncing between you, turning you both on. As a bonus, this is a non-threatening way for you to tell each other more about what you like and fantasize about.

Just remember to keep it positive, and keep it going. In improv acting, there’s a principle called “yes, and,” which means that when your partner suggests something, you should take it and run with it, so it develops into something that you’re both building. 

You can stop any time if your lover is doing something that you really don’t like, of course – consent still operates even for sexting! But try and resist the urge to cut off your lover’s idea if it’s not perfect. You’re both being vulnerable by doing this. Let it be something you share together!

Straight to video

Once you get used to sexting in detail, you can move to newer technologies if you dare! Video chat isn’t just for work meetings and family reunions anymore. You can do something as simple as watching each other masturbate, or recreate one of the fantasies you wrote through text – this time with props and costumes!

For a great guide on how to make the leap, check out this article on getting started with video sex.

We all hope that it won’t be long before we can get back to our regularly scheduled hookups, sleepovers, and sex parties. But until then, stay home, stay safe – and stay sexting!

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