I’d heard raves about the Womanizer from many sources. Slutty Girl Problems said, “Nothing tops this toy for me.” JouJou said “it was almost immediately an out of body experience.” Cosmopolitan wrote that “the orgasm was unparalleled and lasted forfuckingever.” Even the tech blog Lifehacker claimed it would “give you one of the best orgasms of your life.”
With reviews like that, I had to try it for myself. And if this was going to rock my bod so dramatically, I was going to go for the best version. So I bought the Womanizer Premium from the PleazeMe shop.
So how did it work out? Did I have the best orgasms of my life?
Come on. This is a review on the Internet. I’m not going to give you satisfaction without a bit of warm-up first.
Why is the Womanizer Different?
The Womanizer creates an oscillating, highly targeted sensation using air. The literature says it’s a “sucking sensation” but I would describe it more as a flicking sensation. It’s specifically designed to seal around the clitoris and stimulate it directly.
When I heard the Womanizer was narrow and precise in its stimulation, unlike more diffuse wand-style vibrators, I was intrigued. Every woman has a specific type of stimulation that gets her off, and I’m no different. For me, it’s the spot immediately next to the clit that needs to be stimulated. The clit itself is too intense. A wand vibrator will do the job, but it’s a bit like spraying your entire lawn with RoundUp in order to get rid of one ladybug. So something with specific, focused stimulation sounded right up my alley.
I had this sent to a friend whose mailbox situation was more secure than mine. We met in a coffee shop and, nosy boy that he is, he insisted I open it right there in front of everyone. Fortunately, Los Angeles baristas are entirely unflappable and didn’t even pay attention.
When I opened the big, glossy peach box, I actually let out an “oooooh.” The packaging is sexy and premium. I’m sure people who didn’t get a close look thought I was unwrapping something feminine, high tech and luxurious – and they were right. The cardboard is heavy and the design is truly beautiful. It’s like the packaging for the Clarisonic facial cleanser, but even better.
Like nearly any cord-free device, I had to charge the Womanizer before I could use it for the first time. And here was my first hitch. The sexily-designed cord doesn’t actually plug in; it just magnetically attaches to the charging points. Unfortunately, it’s very easy to jostle it just slightly and disengage the device from the charger. I didn’t discover it until the next day, which meant I had to wait an additional 24 hours before I could get the Womanizer between my legs.
The manual, with white text on a peach background, is definitely not designed to be read in low-light situations. Which is a pity, because I had to refer to it several times, and there’s nothing more mood-killing than pulling your emergency flashlight out of your bedside table.
The Womanizer has 12 levels of intensity, which allow you to dial in that perfect level of sensation. It also has an “autopilot” mode, which takes you through the various levels of sensation in a pre-programmed pattern, so you never have to make any adjustments.
I found the buttons a little confusing, and I admit I still do. The power button is tiny, located toward the charging area, and is easy to miss. The “autopilot” button is also small and not intuitive. If this becomes your new favorite toy, you will learn all this – but for the first timer, getting it started can take a few tries.
The First Try
You may have heard that the Womanizer is insanely quiet. That’s true. The volume – and sound pattern – is similar to a happy cat purring. You won’t need to worry about your roommates hearing your toy like with the Hitachi Magic Wand, just your orgasmic screams.
I primed myself with some enjoyable literature (thank you Suleikha Snyder) and began my experiment. I started by placing the Womanizer in the spot that I enjoy the most. However, I found I couldn’t get the depth of stimulation needed to get me off. So I moved it onto my clitoris and began to ride.
And at this point I learned something about myself. I’ve never particularly enjoyed getting eaten out. I always thought it must be psychological, a lingering body shame. Nope! My clit is just too damn sensitive, as the Womanizer proved. Even at the lowest setting, the stimulation was too intense for me, and I finally had to put it aside.
If you’re in the tiny minority of people with extremely sensitive clitorises, this is probably not the toy for you. Even at the lowest setting, the stimulation is likely to be too much.
If you’re like the majority of women out there, however, you are going to love this toy. It’s like having a tireless, tiny tongue flicking your bean as long as you’re willing to let it. Unlike vibrators, which have a numbing effect, the Womanizer doesn’t blunt sensation, so you can keep going with it for hours. Review after review after review cites this toy as the best one ever created, period. I only wish I had a clit like yours so I could enjoy it as much as you will!
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