Wanna try role playing this weekend? Not Live Action Role Playing, aka LARPing. Although, if that’s your thing, cool. But we’re talking about Hot Action Role Playing. Of all the ways to create or enliven a spark between you and a lover, role playing is the most practical because it’s free and it’s easy. Seriously, you can do it tonight.
The whole appeal of sex is that it allows us to be vulnerable with someone else. And role playing engages the erotic potential of the mind, which is where sex really happens. If you can face your fear of feeling silly, you may be rewarded with the best sex you’ve ever had. Role playing is powerful like that. So if you’re intrigued but intimidated, read on for some first time tips.
Have the Talk
If you’ve never tried role playing, you’re going to have to get your co-star onboard first. This means having a conversation about your desires. If asking for sex stuff is hard for you, try a less direct approach. Emailing a link to an article about role playing (maybe this one with 20 different role play scenarios) with the comment “What do you think?’ allows you to broach the topic without using the words “role playing.” Neat trick, huh? Other good comments are, “Can we try this tonight?” or “This makes me so hot” or “Pretty please?”
Design Your Scene
Once you’ve secured your scene partner, you can think about what kind of scene would work for both of you. Let your imagination run wild. What kinds of things do you fantasize about when you masturbate? What kind of porn or erotica does it for you? What would you be if you could be anything? The answers to these questions will be very helpful in selecting a successful scenario.
Most good role playing scenes fall into one of the following categories:
- Authority figure and underling. Examples include cop and motorist, boss and assistant, teacher and pupil, warden and prisoner. If an idea turns you on, feel free to play with gender in order to make it work for you.
- Back to nature. Examples include caveman sex, animal sex, or post-apocalyptic replenishing the species sex.
- Intense circumstances. Examples include pirate and captive, pilot and flight attendant, firefighter and kitten stuck in the tree … whatever floats your boat.
- Fantasy. Examples include royalty and servant, movie star and personal assistant, alien abduction, or your favorite characters from any tv show, movie, or book. Sexing up the stories that grab you is the ultimate fan fiction experience.
These are just a few of the most common dynamics that draw a sexual response from people. Any of these categories can cross over with each other, which is great if you each have different triggers. If you’re into fantasy and they’re into authority figures, try a monarch and courtier. Or scullery maid. Or hunting dog. If it works for you, go for it.
Costumes, props, and setting
You don’t have to spend a cent to make this part happen, though you certainly can if you want to. Lots of costumes can be thrown together from what’s already in your closet or purchased cheaply from a thrift store. You’re not trying to win a prize for costume design, just make your role play feel a bit more real.
If you use any household items as props, make sure they have no sharp edges. You don’t want to role play a knight in actual shining armor carrying a real sword. Trust me.
Whatever the scene, take a bit of time to make your home tidy and comfortable. If you’re feeling indulgent, a hotel room for role playing is the ultimate splurge.
Any good actor does a visualization before beginning a scene and sex actors are no exception. Try the classic “moment before” warm-up, in which you imagine doing whatever your character would be doing the moment before the scene starts. Are you scrubbing floors? Playing chess? Eating figs? How does it make you feel? Sweaty? Bored? Horny?
You don’t need a script but you absolutely need an opening line. It gives you a sense of structure to get through the most challenging part of a role playing game, which is the beginning. Once you’ve begun, it’s easier to continue. So always script your opening.
Movie Star: Darling, I’m having the most trouble with this damn zipper. Be a dear and give me a hand, would you?
Lois Lane: Thank you for saving my life, Superman. How can I ever repay you?
Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Your tail light is out. Gonna have to cite you for that.
Doctor: Can you show me where it hurts? I’m sure we can get you feeling better in no time.
Dogs: sniff sniff. pant. pant. bark. growl.
If you have a tendency to giggle when nervous, try a role playing scene which allows you to avoid eye contact. If you can work a blindfold in, so much the better. Once you start to feel a sexual charge, the discomfort will likely subside. And the more you do it, the easier it will be.
Remember – It’s Just Sex
Sex can be sweet or dark,, silly or serious, athletic or luxurious. So try to let your scene be what it wants to be. If you feel something, go with it. Try to find a reason your character might have that reaction and improvise a line of dialogue. “I’m sorry, Professor. Sometimes I laugh when I’m nervous. And it’s very important that I pass this class. What can I do to get my grade up?”
If the phone rings or someone’s wardrobe malfunctions, either ignore it or work with it. The important thing is to stay in the scene and have fun!
Take your hottest fantasy scene out for a spin tonight and find out how it ends.