Maybe you’ve thought about trying anal sex but you’ve been scared off by the threat of pain – or poop! The Back Door Boogie can be a whole lot of fun if you do it right. According to studies by The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 93% of women surveyed who had anal sex the last time they had sex, reported having an orgasm. That might be why straight women have been going Greek in higher numbers over the past twenty years.
If you’re considering trying anal sex for the first time, there are ways to maximize your chances of success, success being defined as pleasure for both parties involved. Read on for some First Time Booty Tips (and don’t miss our exclusive video on anal sex with sexologist Dr. Jess at the…you guessed it…bottom):
Know You Want To Try It
It’s your butt. You’re the boss. Only attempt anal sex if you’re genuinely curious, and think you might like it. (If you’re struggling with how to have the conversation without killing the mood, read our article about Making Consent Sexy.)
Trust Your Partner
Anal sex is relatively safe if done at a slow and gradual pace. But the potential for damage from insensitive thrusting is significant. If you wouldn’t trust someone with your house keys, don’t let them in your butt.
Do the Prep Work (This Is Where We Talk About Poop)
Fear of poop keeps a lot of people from trying anal because most of us don’t like to shit where we screw. There’s a two step process to minimize the chances of a brown sighting: Poop and Shower.
Since the sensations experienced when your ass is penetrated are similar to those of pooping, poop before you try anal. Pooping before will reassure you that you’re not pooping during, even if it feels that way. Some people like to use an enema beforehand. It’s not necessary but it gives you the courage to go for it, it’s your call. You can buy an enema douche in any drugstore. If it’s your first time using one, wait a couple hours before attempting anything sexy. This will give your body time to recover and expel all the water, which is definitely a good thing.
Next, wash your ass thoroughly with soap and warm water. Anuses are actually fairly poop free, since they’re just a passageway. Any traces left behind at the entrance (or exit) can be easily washed away with a through soap and warm water wash. A freshly bathed ass is as clean as a body part gets.
Despite these measures, there is still some possibility of poop and some people just can’t get past that. Others recognize that any sex act is either gross or awesome depending on how you look at it. Like all sexual choices, this one is deeply personal. If you decide to go for it, keep a towel handy for cleanup.
Anal is considered a high risk activity by the Center for Disease Control because the anus is less elastic than the vagina and does not self lubricate. This increases the risk of microscopic tears which give infections a speedy point of entry to the bloodstream. A latex condom is mandatory. Bacteria from the anus can be very bad for the vagina and can lead to UTIs, so keep ‘em separated and wash up thoroughly after any trips through the back door. If you’re looking to change it up, go front to back, not the other way around.
This is no time to rush. Anal foreplay is a great way to introduce new sensations. Fingers, tongues, and vibrators can pave the way for full intercourse. Once you’ve discover the pleasure potential of the ass, it stops being so scary.
Choose Your Toys Carefully
The anus is the end of a freeway which begins at your mouth. This means it’s totally possible for something to get lost inside a person’s butt. This is a potentially life threatening medical emergency so don’t let it happen to you or your partner. Nothing should go into the ass unless it has a flared base to prevent it from disappearing into the body. Do not improvise with anyone’s butt. Surgery isn’t sexy.
Use a Ridiculous Amount of Lube
Once you’re ready to go all the way, lube up like you’ve never lubed before. The anus has no natural lubrication so you must bring your own. Challenge yourself to use too much because you can’t. Slather lube all over the rectal opening as well as on the penis or sex toy. Once you think you’ve used a ridiculous amount of lube, you’ve probably used enough. And even then, be prepared to stop and add more if necessary.
Put The Catcher In Charge
This will go better if the receiving partner controls the speed and depth of penetration, so pick a position that lets them drive. Spooning, Catcher on Top, and Doggy Style are all good. But everyone’s body is different, so you may need to try it a few ways before you find the right one.
Don’t Try To Relax. Bear Down Instead.
If you’re trying to take it in the ass for the first time, you may encounter some resistance. Lots of people advise relaxing but bearing down can be more successful. When you push down on the pelvic floor muscles, as if you’re trying to poop, the anus opens up, allowing for deeper penetration. Penetration may feel weird but it should never hurt. If it does, you’re going too far too fast or you’re not using enough lube. Stop pushing the moment it hurts.
Just The Tip
Don’t try to go all the way. Stay in the shallow end. If you’re rocking a penis, the head is the biggest part. Playing around with mild penetration and no agenda is the best way to make this feel so good that your partner demands more.
Wait For the Green Light
Once you’ve achieved maximum depth, and this may not happen the first several times you try it, let the receiver give the go-ahead for more enthusiastic thrusting.
Like any other kind of sex, anal requires sensitivity, flexibility, and patience. But these, and a lot of lube, can make it feel so good that you’ll both want to keep it on the menu forever.