By Jade Byrnell
Lovers separated by circumstances is the stuff of romance novels. We love to feel the tug of frustrated desire when it’s happening to someone else, especially if that person is wearing a hoop skirt or top hat. The reality of being away from the one you love is less thrilling and more deflating. As time goes on, it can lead to the erosion of the feelings you once had for each other. But it doesn’t have to be that way.
If the lockdown has each of you trapped in separate homes, it’s still possible to nurture your connection. And stoking the fires of your sex life is good for everyone. Here are some suggestions for how to stay sexy when you can’t be together.
You Sexty Thing
If it’s been a while since you exchanged sexy text messages, it’s time to rev up your sexting game. Text messages are great for keeping things hot because they’re short and immediately delivered, which allows for greater spontaneity than the love letters of great romance novels. The punchy vibe of a text encourages a playful back and forth dynamic that can quickly escalate to out and out raunchiness if you both want it to. Plus, the vibrate function on your phone adds a whole other layer of stimulation.
If you’re shy about talking dirty, sexting is a great way to cultivate brazenness. We’re bolder when no one can see or hear us. So let your x-rated side out to play and see where it takes you. If you need inspiration, go to your preferred style of porn or erotica to prime the pump. Then think about exactly what you’d like to happen if you could be with your lover. Type it into your phone in the most explicit possible language, hit send, and get comfortable.
You Leave Me Hanging On The Telephone
Phone sex has kept many a long distance couple together and it can do the same for you. You can schedule it like a date and take some time to catch up before shifting with a classic line like, “So what are you wearing?” Or you can do a “Sorry, you must have the wrong number” role-playing game. Or you can set up a nightly ritual in which you go to bed together via phone. Pro tip: earbuds leave your hands free to tend to other business.
Video Games
Just because you can’t touch each other doesn’t mean you can’t see each other. Dial up your sweetie on a facecam and let the distance strip away your inhibitions. If you can find a digital deck of cards to share, you can play video Strip Poker. If you’re too horny to search for a card app, video Truth Or Dare requires nothing but courage. You can also seize the moment to do some hot role playing with one of you pretending to be an online peep show dancer or cam girl/guy.
Get creative and use this as an opportunity to have some fun together in a way you might not if you could just have them over. Try on a different persona with a wig or an accent if that’s your thing. Explore a Dom/sub dynamic by having one of you agree to perform tasks for the other. Or just look into your lover’s eyes while you touch yourself. This is a great time to try something new together so be honest about your secret fantasies. If you ask nicely, there’s no telling what you might get.
A great sex toy is an excellent investment. It ups the playful factor of distance sex and it improves your lover’s game without them having to do anything. If you can, treat yourself to a new vibrator, plug, set of nipple clamps …
Love The One You’re Not With
A rocking sex life goes a long way when your relationship is weathering a challenge but it’s not everything. Make time to connect emotionally, check in with each other, and share feelings, jokes, pet names, and silly songs. But don’t feel like this means you have to spend an hour staring at each other over a screen. Make virtual dates!
- Cook and aphrodisiac meal together and eat it by candlelight.
- Watch a movie together.
- Read poetry to each other.
- Take a bath together.
- Enjoy a late-night snuggle before drifting off to sleep.
The bottom line is that you must actively care for each other right now if you want your relationship to weather this storm. This is a highly stressful time for many people. Everyone needs tending, understanding and affection. Taking time to be present for your partner can help them to feel cared for and less anxious. Tiny acts of love can help you to not only survive this time apart but thrive during it. And just imagine that first kiss when you’re finally reunited.
If you enjoyed this article, we suggest you check out How to Give an Erotic Massage and Spring Has Sprung And Love Is In The Air!
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We believe in love, sexuality, and the power of inclusion. People of all shapes and sizes, colors and ethnicities, genders and sexualities are valuable and deserve to feel included. Everyone should have a safe place they can go to connect, discover and express themselves without fear of being judged, censored or discriminated against.
Take Me There!
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I liked the point about Video games 🙂 it worths