It’s a blessing to find a partner with whom you have a soul-deep connection. You’ll want to make the most of it, emotionally and sexually. I’ve met couples who’ve got that special magic. They shared how they keep that soulmate passion going.
Soulmates, twin flames, and real love
There are several ways to describe a super-close connection with a lover. Some like to say they’ve met their soulmate. That’s someone who is such a harmonious fit for you, who mirrors you so well, it’s like you were destined to be together. With your soulmate, you feel alive, intrigued, supported so that you can take on the world.
Soulmates can also be opposites. This happens so much it’s a romantic trope that “opposites attract” and odd couples last. Opposite soulmates find balance and completion in each other’s differences – as well as affectionate frustration.
When there’s that sense of a closer-than-close match, that you’re two separated parts passionately trying to reunite, that is often called twin flames. If a soulmate feels like your destiny, a twin flame may feel like your karma – good and bad! That’s because, with the fiery emotions involved, twin flame relationships are notoriously volatile. Being with a twin flame is an experience of finding your most intense self.
All of these share magnetic chemistry, a blaze of spiritual romance, and high hopes for a long-lasting happy ending. Good news: I’ve seen that happy ending, and it’s happened to friends of mine.
Your partner may already be your soul match
You may be thinking, “Soulmates sound great – like a fairy-tale. Twin flames sound off the wall. Neither of them will happen to me.” But you could be in for a surprise. I was talking with friends of mine, a married couple, corporate types. When I mentioned soulmates and twin flames, they both scoffed at the idea of destined love.
One of them, Claudia, asked, “Twin flames? What’s that?” She listened as I explained, then said, “So it’s like soulmates, but more so.”
Her partner added, “The kind of pair where they do crazy world-bending things to be together.”
They gave each other a guilty look. “Like we did.”
Hearing about twin flames reminded this couple that they had sparked when they were living on opposite sides of the world. They had gone the extra mile to stay in touch, being far more spontaneous than they usually were with contacts, phone calls, even plane tickets. “Looking back, it was like the universe was asking us to prove we should be together!” Claudia said.
Within a year, they were in the same country, living together happily. I was the witness at their winter-wonderland wedding – and told them about twin flames while they were traveling on their tenth anniversary. They’d never heard the term before, but they had to admit it was as good a match for them as they were for each other.
A soul connection in the bedroom means sex keeps getting better
One of the signs you’ve met a true match is that intimacy between you starts out good…and improves! Both Western pagan traditions and Asian tantra share the idea that lovers exchange complimentary energy. Romantically, we feel it as a warm glow. Sexually, it starts with a sense that our lover’s touch is irresistible. You can summon that energy with yourself and share it with someone you’re close to.
To experience that, as each other’s ultimate lover, you need to open up. It takes true vulnerability to find profound intimacy. Take the time to confide some of your deepest, wildest fantasies, or to admit what makes a lover special to you. This is your best chance to make your erotic wishes come true, as a gift you give to each other.
When those desires brought you together in the first place, you have a head start. Your challenge is to make the rest of the relationship work.
Intense connection doesn’t have to bring exhausting drama
Soulmates and twin flames are often associated with high drama because of the emotion and feelings they bring up. But it doesn’t have to be that way, even in the grip of a twin flame meeting.
Twin flames are particularly associated with breaking up and reuniting. They often see their relationship as trying to heal their connection from a past life. That can give them a high tolerance for arguments or drama, often rewarded by the high of reuniting after a spat or a breakup. It can even be addictive. Is this you?
If it is, ask yourself if this pattern really builds trust, or if it wastes time, energy, even money. You can make this lifetime the lifetime where you let go of those extremes.
The soul-matched couple told your author they were passionate about each other in every way. But that didn’t mean they had to disagree. Nor did they waste energy being jealous of exes or what had kept them apart. “You make a choice to trust each other, and to support it with real actions,” said Claudia. “Even if you have been dramatic in the past!”
Take time to agree on important details
It’s easy to think that when you meet your soulmate, the one who you’re in tune with, you’ll never fight. But when you have a lot in common, you’ll both feel strongly about the same things. That means the details matter. Something that you might have brushed off in the past can suddenly mean the world, especially when it’s coming between you.
As another blog post here says, “Communicate, communicate, communicate!” Work with each other to hear each other out. Listen – truly listen, taking the time to reflect on each other’s words and desires. Once you’ve done that, find where your goals overlap, or where you can compromise. Just agreeing that you’ll work on a shared solution can help you go on together.
Be brave enough to start the future
When you’ve found a happy pairing, you might fear losing it. It can seem that travel, children, or other changes will put your passion and closeness at risk. You can want to freeze your life to maintain that balance – when that’s the opposite of what you should do.
Your heartfelt connection gives the two of you energy. Use that to give each other the love and care that fuels your unique bond. You can also use your shared spark to start your future together. It takes more of that communication and discussion. Dream big, be honest and open, and work from where you agree.
One thing devoted lovers can do is make time for each other. Date nights truly do work. Worried about losing long bedroom hours? Make it a priority in your shared lives. Fitting lovemaking into mornings and middays comes with its own excitement.
However you move forwards, with the glow of your soulmate or the fire of your twin flame, you’ll be finding your own unique path together. Enjoy the lifelong conversation, growth, and exploration.