69 Like A Pro!

By Delilah Wood

There’s nothing more enduring (if not endearing) than a good old fashioned 69 joke – the reliable humor refuge of so many of us who are 12-year-old boys at heart. You may know about June 9 being National Sex Day. Because 6/9. 69. Get it? Get it?? Huh-huh-huh.

But for the more subtle among us, there’s 69 Day: March 9! (It’s usually March 10, but it’s a leap year.) Why? Because it’s the 69th day of the year!! 

(Get it?)

Anyway, since gettin’ it is what we’re all about here, we’re gonna go straight toward this idea. Because if there’s one thing we can’t get enough of, it’s made-up reasons to do sex stuff! But because we’re also sexperts, we’re going to take this seriously. (Huh-huh. Shh, don’t laugh!)

So let’s talk about it. What is 69ing exactly, what do we think it is, and what else might it be if we were willing to play around with it a bit?

Solving the problems

In case you somehow weren’t aware, 69 is slang for a sex act where two people face each other, facing opposite directions, so that they can each get their mouths on each other’s bits. Performing oral sex on someone who’s also performing oral sex on you at the same time – in other words, good, wholesome fun! 

But for all the 69ing jokes, how many of us actually do 69 on the regular? Sure, it’s hot, it’s saucy, but it can have some logistical challenges. For one, height differences make it more challenging. For another, it can be tough to focus on someone else’s pleasure when someone is also focusing on yours. (There’s a reason why ‘taking turns’ with oral is a popular sequence.) 

Still, a good 69 can solve some classic oral sex problems, too. For people with upward-curving penises, going at them in reverse can save a lot of choking issues. (Imagine sucking on a banana with the curve facing up. Now flip it so the curve is facing down. Kind of easier, right?) And when going down on a vulva, when you’re upside-down, the clitoris is just right there – and you don’t have to crane your neck back. 

There’s also the nice thing of not losing the intimacy of body contact: when someone goes down on you, they can seem sort of…gone, like they’ve disappeared down there and their presence has gone with them. It’s tough to forget the other person is there when you have their junk in your face, not to mention the contact along your torsos. And the way you can hug each other’s butts is a bonus.

Playing the numbers

There are things you can do, too, to mix it up a bit. For one thing, remember that just because you’re ‘supposed to’ be doing it at the same time, doesn’t mean one of you can’t let up once in a while. If you think of oral sex not as a race to the finish but an indulgent journey, then it’s easier to take a rest, flex your jaw a bit, and take the time to gently nuzzle and kiss your partner’s most intimate parts while they work away at yours. Then, switch who’s doing the heavy lifting.

If one of you is getting close to coming, it can also be difficult to keep going. What with increasing muscle tension as you approach orgasm…well, there’s danger of biting. If you’re approaching the edge, don’t worry about backing off and making some noise instead. It’s a great way to signal your partner that they’re on the right track, and they’re likely to be happy to hear and feel your pleasure and redouble their efforts. Just remember to come back to what you were doing afterward…

Classically, people tend to do 69 with one person on top and the other below, or side by side. But one of you can start sitting up, with the other across their lap; the sitting-up person can lean over when they’re ready to reciprocate. If you feel like getting Kama Sutra about it, one of you can sit in a chair while the other rests their legs on your shoulders and hangs down. If you’re seriously athletic, you can try it out with one of you in a handstand, but it probably won’t last all that long.

Just remember that having fun together is more important than ‘doing it right.’ If you’re trying to pass a Purity Test or something, doing a ‘classic’ 69 for 30 seconds ought to check it off the list. After that, do what feels good!

Adding variables

You can also make things more interesting (and easier!) by adding some toys to the mix. We all know how tiring oral sex can get sometimes; if someone is not having an orgasm within, say, ten minutes, it can get pretty hard on your jaw muscles, tongue, neck… But there’s no rule that says you can’t bring a vibrator into the equation.

Try having a vibrator or other toy handy while 69ing. When you start to feel tired, strained, or too excited to continue, switch off between your mouth and the vibrator… we love the LELO Gigi 2. A masturbation sleeve – or your hand – is another good switch-off alternative for penises.

You can also add kinky aspects to this scenario, like bondage and power play. What hilarity might ensue if you tied you and your partner together? Try playing a game where you don’t get untied until you both come. Or, add power play by having only one of you tied up – and perhaps blindfolded. While both of you are still pleasuring each other, only one of you controls the action: who gets to decide who gets pleasured, when?

There’s plenty of ways to celebrate 69 Day! March 9, 2024 may be just an unassuming Monday, but if you’ve got somebody game, make sure to make it special with a little topsy-turvy lovin’.

Check out the other hot events that are happening in March!

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